


Holtzmann's Secret

by HoltzyMcKinnon



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Adult Themes, Child Abuse, Cocaine, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Graphic Violence, Jillian Holtzmann Strips, Lesbian, Molestation, Rape, Sex, Stripping, ghostbusters - Freeform, naked, secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:07:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoltzyMcKinnon/pseuds/HoltzyMcKinnon
Summary: Holtzmann has a secret and doesn't want the other Ghostbusters to know. They eventually do find out. How will they handle the news?





	1. Failure to Launch

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Adult themes and heavy topics presented in this story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Holtzmann's past.

Holtzmann neatly folded ten $1 bills and stuffed them into her right boot. Damnit for slow nights. She scrambled to cover herself up and walked off stage to grab a drink in order to numb her mind. Hopefully none of the other Ghostbusters would ever find out what she had to do to pay her bills.

Jillian stood in the doorway crying. She was 5 years old and her mother was screaming. She was extremely angry. "Goddamnit! I told you NOT to play in the mud with the dog!" Jillian looked down at her pink sweater and tried to brush off the dark stains. "Stupid bitch. Always making me have to do more work than necessary!" Her mother's face was red and her fists were clenched in rage. "That's why your stupid dad left you and Ralph and I have problems! Just wait til he fucking gets home." Jillian cringed. Even as a small child she knew what that meant. "I'm sorry, mama!" Jillian wailed. "You fucking better be." Her mother smacked her hard across the face, knocking the little girl down. Jillian began to cry hysterically, covering her head in her small arms. "Get out of my sight." Jillian scurried to her bedroom shutting the door and crawled into the makeshift blanket bed in her bedroom. The floor was hard but it was more comforting than being near her mother. Around 5:30 PM, her mother's boyfriend, Ralph, returned home with a bag of white powder. "You know what that little bitch did today?" Ralph sat down and was preparing to snort a line. "That daughter of yours is useless, but go on, enlighten me." "That little shit played with the stupid dog outside in the mud. She's filthy." Ralph stood up, slamming the chair against the table. "JILLIAN!" he shrieked. Jillian trembled under the covers she'd pulled over her head. "I'm going to fucking destroy you." The next day, Jillian lay in her bed unable to move. Her whole body was covered in bruises and her eye was so swollen she couldn't see out of it. She silently sobbed alone in her bed for nearly the entire day. Why was Ralph so mean? Why did he hate her so much? At 8 PM, her mom bust into the room wearing a miniskirt, bright swimsuit top, fishnet stockings and clear 6 inch heels. "Going to work..." and on that note she slammed the door shut behind her. Jillian wondered why her mother wore those clothes to work when all the other kids had moms who wore pantsuits and conservative dresses. 

That evening her mom got home later than expected. Jillian craved physical love so she went out to see her mom and hoped she'd give her a hug. She stretched her arms up to her mom and her mom hissed at her. "Can you not see that I'm fucking exhausted?!" When she looked down to see Jillian's red and raw swollen eyes she softened her own eyes a bit. "Oh alright, come here, but make it quick." Jillian clung to her mom as if she had never hugged anyone before. While hugging her she noticed she smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. More distinctly was the overpowering scent of cheap perfume that assaulted Jillian's senses. She plucked at the strap on her mom's bathing suit top. Her mom pulled away abruptly. With cold eyes she stated in an even tone "Do not pull on my clothes." Jillian nodded up and down in understanding. "As soon as you are old enough, you're gonna be out of this house and you're gonna need to support yourself. I refuse to give you any money because honestly, I didn't want you in the first place and I shouldn't be obligated to support you when you're old enough to fend for yourself. As far as I'm concerned, I have done my share. But, if you're really good and don't do anymore stupid shit, I'll give you this top. It's earned me quite a bit of money and trust me, out there in the real world, you are gonna need it." 

After a few drinks, Holtzmann went home to her small New York apartment to sleep it off. She woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.

"Holtz?" Abby sounded desperate. "What the hell is going on with you? You've been showing up late to work all week! We are swamped with calls, equipment hasn't been finished...  
"I know, Abbs, I'm sorry."  
"Well what the hell is going on? This is so out of character for you!"  
"Nothing. I...just. Nothing, Abby. Nothing is going on with me. Just been tired. Long nights."  
"Well pull yourself together, we can't afford to lose our only engineer. I'm not trying to be a hard ass but we got an operation to run here.  
"I'm aware."  
"Please get into work as soon as possible."  
Holtzmann let out a groan and hung up the phone.


	2. Long Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby has a sit down with Holtzmann in regards to her recently horrible work ethic.

Holtzmann showed up to work looking groggy and out of it. Abby gasped at her appearance. "My God, Holtzmann. You look terrible." "Why thank you, Abbs. What a compliment." Holtzmann immediately went over to her lab and began tinkering with the proton shotguns that she was working on for the team. "Not so fast Holtz!" Abby said. "You wanna tell me why your work ethic isn't what it used to be? Why there are kiss marks all over your neck, your hair is a wreck, and you have glitter all over your face? It's not professional to go out and party the night before a bust." Holtzmann looked at the floor. "Holtzy sorry." Abby put her hand on Holtzmann's back. "Let's go sit down and talk."

Holtzmann fidgeted with her hands in her lap as Abby looked at her sternly and spoke. "Im worried about you. Everyone is. I sent Erin and Patty out so that I could talk to you privately. I've worked with you for years, Holtzmann. I know when something is wrong. I don't know exactly WHAT is wrong but I am not stupid. I wasn't born yesterday. You know you can talk to me if you are having a problem."  
Holtzmann's blue eyes focused on Abby's.   
"Yes I'm aware."   
"So what is it? Did something happen? Did Erin or Patty say something to hurt you? Did I?" Abby looked crushed when she said that.  
"No. No one did or said anything. I've just been tired. Not sleeping well."  
"I'd love to say I believe you, Holtz, but that doesn't explain THIS." Abby swiped her hand across her upper face emphasizing the sparkle fest that was lighting up Holtzmann's face.  
"I went out last night."  
"Now we are getting somewhere..."  
Holtz looked around the room uncomfortably.   
"Just wanted a few drinks to relax and try to sleep. It was nothing."  
"And you brought people home...women? A woman?  
"No."  
"But you're covered in sparkles and kisses, Holtz. I can see the lipstick stains trailing down your neck."  
"I don't remember what all happened last night. But no, Abby, no one came home with me. Like I said, just a few drinks." Abby looked at Holtzmann suspiciously.  
"Mhm. Okay Holtz. I'm not trying to mother you, but as your friend I am seriously worried about you. I want you to be safe and make good decisions."  
"Yep."  
"I'm serious, Holtz."  
Holtz nodded and walked off back to her lab where she disappeared for hours, not talking to anyone. Abby watched her with sadness in her eyes and heart. What was going on with Holtz? Why were things so differently around the firehouse lately?


	3. Lady of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann goes to her night job.

Holtzmann slipped into the strip club in a black hoodie that swamped her small frame. At first glance she didn't look like the other girls. She didn't wear heels into work or fancy clothes. She wore her menswear dress shoes with a button down shirt, tie and pants. However, she always wore the big hoodie to hide her identity. To be as discreet as possible. She didn't worry so much once she was actually IN the club because no one she knew frequented this particular type of bar, but she worried who would see her on the way in. She didn't want anyone to know that deep in the depths of her genius brain and fierce personality laid a heart so broken and empty. She also didn't want anyone to know she was completely broke. When anyone asked her about work, she would say, "I'm a nuclear engineer and an independent contractor." It sounded official enough and that's why people failed to recognize that "independent contractor" actually meant "stripper".

Candy Cane, one of the other strippers, caught a glimpse of Holtz sneaking into the back dressing room. Holtz was attracted to Candy (her real name was Jen), but Candy wasn't a lesbian. In fact, Holtz kept the fact that she was a lesbian to herself when she was out working her night job. She really enjoyed watching the naked women swing around on the pole and swing their breasts in her face. She used to do shows with some of the other strippers on stage where the girls would finger eachother's clits a little bit, but one time while doing it she realized she had began cumming and it was dripping down her legs. While the men in the audience appreciated the show, other strippers refused to work with her afterwards. The whole situation made her feel embarrassed.

The only stripper who even bothered to treat her was kindness was Candy. She didn't ever make Holtzmann feel ashamed about anything like others did. She treated her as a friend and an equal.

"Hey Jill!" Candy flashed a bright, white smile. She was a beautiful girl with an hourglass figure, bright red hair that cascaded down her shoulders that always looked perfect and icy blue eyes rimmed with black liner. Her breasts and butt were perfectly rounded and pronounced in her skimpy red and white bra and panties. "H-hi" Holtzmann's mouth went dry and her eyes became large taking in the sight infront of her. Candy laughed. "You're so awkward sometimes, Jill." Holtz nodded. "So I've been told..." "So Jill, look at this!" Candy pulled her panties down and revealed a silver clit ring to Holtzmann. Holtzmann trembled at the sight. "Wow, Jen. I-" Holtzmann didn't finish her thought before Candy interjected her own opinion. "I think it's so pretty!" Candy flicked it. I can't wait to show it off tonight on stage. I got it because I am moving to do escort work in Las Vegas and I heard it really enhances sexual pleasure. I can't wait til I get to fuck men for a living. What a dream job, right?!" Holtz uncomfortably nodded. "Yeah, sounds great." Her voice indicated otherwise. Her heart went into her throat. Now she wouldn't ever get to see Candy again. "Well Holtz, I'm performing soon and you gotta get ready, so gotta run babe." Holtz looked in the dressing room mirror at herself. She didn't look like stripper material but there she was. She honestly hated the work. She loved the sights and being around all the women, but found the work grueling, shameful and stressful. She covered the dark circles under her eyes with concelear and caked on the eyeliner and mascara. She covered her lips in a bright red lipstick and released her long curly blonde hair from it's complex updo. She took off her dress shirt, tie and work pants to reveal bright red lacy undergarments. Finally, she slipped into her 6 inch sparkly heels, which she found unbearably uncomfortable. And then she drank, and drank, and drank. She drank until she was numb. She didn't feel like herself at all. Finally her number was up. The song "Sucker for Pain" began and Holtz walked up the stairs of the stage confidently, with tons of alcohol coursing through her body. She wrapped her leg around the pole, climbing to the top and swirled her way down. She got on her knees infront of four men, and with her ass to them and began slipping her panties down. In her opinion, this was the most degrading part but she was numb enough that it didn't bother her as much as it normally did. They hooted and hollered as she made her ass bounce up and down and they flung dollars over top of it. Then she rolled onto her back and spread her legs wide revealing her pink pussy. She thrusted up and down infront of the men clearly taking note of their boners. The girls at the club were required to make the men squirm to the point of them being uncomfortable so that they would buy a lap dance, generating more money for the cruel club owners. Holtzmann crawled on all fours and hovered over one of the guy's laps. "Come here often?" She asked trying to sound sexy, but it was so obvious it was just an act. The guy could barely speak as she gently, but accidentally touched her ass to his groin. "Lap. Dance. Please." He said in segments with desperation in his voice. Holtzmann also very much hated this part too, but she would go to her happy place in her mind. She would be thinking of her next invention or the times she spent with Erin, Abby, and Patty - her best friends. However, she knew if they knew what she was doing they wouldn't want to associate with her anymore and she was scared to take that chance. She crept into an empty room with the guy from the club and shut the door. There, she removed her bra and panties and began to grind into him. He moaned with her every move. "You're sexy, you know that?" She looked at him with blank eyes, "Thanks." "You have a great body. Would love to fuck that body. So tell me, what's your name?" He asked in grunts. Holtzmann ignored him by dancing around him with her tiny, pale naked body. Quickly he became hostile and grabbed her roughly by the hair, yanking her neck back. Holtzmannn yelped. "I asked you your name, bitch!" Holtzmann's heart began to pound into her ears. "McKinnon" she said. "Everyone knows that's your stage name." Holtzmann shook her head no in a panic. "Dumb paranoid bitch." Holtzmann stiffened up a bit, looking at him with intensely sad eyes. She was scared, completely naked and all alone with this stranger. "Do you want this or not?" He asked her, holding two $100 bills over her head. "Yes" she said quietly. Her confidence gone. "Then tell me your name. Your REAL name this time." "J-Jill," she stammered, as the man put the money back into his pocket. "Great. Now be a good girl, Jill, and come over here for a minute. I want to know something else about you." "Kay..." Holtz wandered over slowly, apprehensively. "Sit on my lap." "It's against-" "Sit your ass down and no one gets hurt." Shaking, Holtz sat down on his lap, searching the man's eyes for a reason why he was putting her through this." "Everyone thinks you're sexy, Jill, but everyone thinks you are hiding something." Tears gathered behind her eyes as his fingers crept up her thigh. "I'm not. Hiding anything." "You don't enjoy this, do you? I give you every fucking last dollar to my name and you look at me with dead fucking eyes. I think you're a lesbian." "I-I'm not-" she stammered in fear. She truly was but she didn't want to know what her fate would be if this jerk found out. "Your pussy looks too tight." He began to feel around her entrance and she slammed her legs shut. With force, he held them back open. "Listen you little bitch, I have paid good money for this. I want my money's worth tonight. If you scream for help you will be sorry, do you understand?" Holtzmann's eyes widened as he stuck 3 fingers deep into her and pulled them back out. Inspecting the lack of cum on them he sneered at her, "Not even a little turned on? You're pathetic." Holtzmann began to cry. "I don't like that, that hurts! Please stop. Let go of me!" The man laughed in her face. "Of course you don't. Typical of a little dyke, but wait, I thought you were a sucker for pain?" At that moment, Holtzmann didn't care anymore how much pain she would endure, she let out a scream and security rushed in. "Get that fucking guy out of here now!" She demanded confidently. "He fucking put his fingers in me!" As security dragged the man outside, he kept mouthing "you fucking bitch" to her. Back in the dressing room, Holtzmann was crying and inspecting her lady parts. She noticed she was bleeding. At that moment, Kinx (the queen bee of strippers) walked in. "Hey Leaky, you cum again?" She was such a bitch! Holtzmann looked up at her with pleading eyes. "That man I gave a lap dance to- he, um, he hurt me." "And how did that happen?" Kinx asked, rolling her eyes hard. "He put his fingers in me." "Well why'd you let him?" "I didn't!" tears began to pour even harder down her cheeks. "Listen, Leaky, shit happens. You got to toughen up if you want to do this job." "But I don't want to do this job." "Oh, well allow me to help you with that then." Kinx came back with one of the owners, a bitter older man with a harsh voice and anger issues. "Tell him." Kinx demanded "What?" Holtzmann looked up, confused, with tear stained cheeks. "What you said." Kinx shrugged. "Someone touched me during a dance." The owner looked at Holtzmann as if she were a disgusting piece of garbage. "Okay?" The owner asked annoyed. "That's not what she just fucking told me." Kinx said viciously. "She said she didn't want to work here." The owner got in Holtzmann's face and screamed "THEN FUCKING GET OUT!" In tears Holtzmann dressed herself. "I'm done for the night. I need a break. I can't do this right now." "Lousy bitch," the owner chimed in. "Get the fuck out of here then, but your ass better be back here working tomorrow." On the way out, Candy pulled Holtzmann into a hug after seeing she was crying. She didn't ask about what happened. Girls crying over being touched or being shorted money was unfortunately, all too common in these clubs. All she said was "Sorry, love. Be well." Holtzmann couldn't even focus, she just wanted to go home but she was thankful for Candy's sweet and warm embrace. While being touched was a fairly common occurance, what the man said was true. Holtzmann had never been with a man sexually and she simply felt violated. Holtzmann was relieved to be out of the club and headed home to her safe apartment when all of a sudden she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Well, well, well Jill. We meet again." To Holtzmann's horror she looked up and saw the man from the club. "And this time" he said with a smile, "I'm gonna fuck the dyke right out of you." Holtzmann began to shake and as much as she wanted to cry, no tears came. The man dragged her by her wrist into a dark alley where she met his friends as well. The men cheered as they ripped her clothing off and two men held her legs open and the vile man from the club pushed deep into her repeatedly. At first the pain was so intense she was sobbing, but after 10 minutes of this, she zoned out. Went to her happy place. After all the men had a turn with her she was punched in the eye and thrown on the ground like trash. She was soaked in blood between her legs and her spirit was broken.


	4. Harsh Treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ghostbusters make sure Holtzmann gets to a doctor and Candy shows up. Shit is about to hit the fan.

Holtzmann opened her eyes and looked around. She was surrounded by garbage and the chilly breeze in the air. Her body hurt everywhere, especially between her legs. She didn't know if she would be able to walk. Her arms were covered in bruises and her clothing was full of blood. She groaned as she rolled over to get up. She saw her phone with a crack in the screen sitting nearby a trash can in the back alley. She immediately picked it up and saw five missed calls from Abby. It was 11 am. Shit, she was several hours late for work again. Surely, Abby would understand this time, right? Before she knew it the phone rang again, it was Abby. "Damnit, Holtzmann. I swear to God! You promised you-"  
"Please Abby, I can explain." Her voice broke as she talked but through Abby's rage she didn't catch it.  
"Well you better have a good explanation! We have been sitting here waiting for you, there are people calling in from all over New York City and you're out partying all night and then wanting to sleep in. Jesus, Holtz, that's so irresponsible. What happened to you?!"  
"I'll try to be right there."  
Holtz knew she needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible but what difference did a few hours make? She was sick of letting people down and she didn't want to lose her only friends. She grunted and groaned as she stood up. Her pain was unbearable. She staggered to the street where she hailed a cab that would take her to the firehouse. Holtz didn't want to alarm her friends so she snuck into the shower to wash her body. She felt so beyond worthless and violated. As she ran the soap between her legs, she cried and the water pooling down the drain was tainted with the crimson color of her blood. Bruises and marks covered every inch she could see. When she was done she wrapped herself in a towel and headed to her cubby where she kept spare clothes. She slipped on a tshirt and vest and a pair of colorful Capri pants. Noticing her bruised arms once more, she threw her lab coat over top of the ensemble. 

"Abby? Erin? Patty?" She said meekly while wandering through the firehouse. "Baby, is that you?" Patty stepped out of the doorway and screamed the same way she did when Abby threw Holtzmann out the window. Patty's eyes softened, "Baby what the hell happened to you?" Ashamed, Holtzmann closed her eyes. "Patty, I don't know why you assume that, I just-" "I don't need you to tell me lies right now. Just don't talk if that's what's gonna come out your mouth." Patty looked sorely disappointed.  
"Is that Holtzmann?" an excited female voice asked. Erin stepped out of the door smiling, but threw her hand up to her mouth in horror upon laying her eyes on Holtzmann. A sharp gasp escaped her mouth.  
The three ladies stood staring at each other speechless until Holtz broke the silence. "Where is Abby?" "Baby, she ran to get us some lunch. Why don't you have a seat? We can get you some food too..." "NO!" Holtzmann snapped drawing both a shocked and concerned expression on both ladies faces. Then as she turned on her foot to hide away until Abby got back, she fainted. 

A few hours later she woke up in a hospital bed with her friends surrounding her. "The doctor said you're gonna be okay, Holtz," Erin said softly. "Where am I?" "The emergency room." Patty stated. Abby looked at Holtzmann with tears in her eyes. "Holtz, I'm so glad you're okay, but do you care to tell us what happened? The doctor won't tell us a thing and you don't seem yourself." Holtzmann's eyes filled with tears. "No, I can't." "Why the hell not?" Abby said more seriously. 

The three Ghostbusters jaws dropped open as a busty redhead in a short Jessica rabbit style dress, with super revealing cleavage and 6 inch stilletos opened the door to Holtz's hospital room. "I think you, uh, have the wrong room." Erin said gesturing with a finger towards the door. Holtz looked up and smirked at Jen and Jen shot her a worried look, ignoring Erin. "Oh my God babe! I am so sorry! Those guys did this to you, didn't they?!" Anger and hurt were present in her voice. Holtz nodded. Abby, Erin and Patty look at one another in disbelief. How the fuck did this bimbo know what happened to Holtz and her three best friends weren't good enough to know? They felt so betrayed. Patty spoke up with attitude in her voice. "Care to enlighten the crowd?" "Hello I'm Jen. I work at the club with Holtz. Coworkers. Friend co-workers. And you guys? Who are you?" Again the Ghostbusters looked offended. Erin blurted out shocked "COWORKERS?!" Then Abby, looking up Jen up and down suspiciously asked "What club?" Holtz tried to make contact with Jen to shake her head no, but it was too late." "The Dream Girls Club." Patty focused her attention to Holtz, "Baby girl, what are you doing there for work?!" Surely none of the other ladies would've guessed dancer. Holtzmann wasn't the type to do that sort of thing. Holtzmann looked ashamed. Just as Holtzmann opened her mouth to respond, the doctor rushed in, "Ladies, please leave for a moment. We have to run some tests and the police are here to speak with your friend." The Ghostbusters and Jen left the room in a hurry.


	5. Cornered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ghostbusters interrogate Candy Cane in the search for answers.

All of the Ghostbusters glared at Jen like she was a creature from a different planet. "Who the fuck is that girl?" Abby said with anger in her voice. Erin took a deep sigh and shook her head. Patty threw her arms down, "I tell you what, ladies, we are gonna find out cause I ain't messing with this shit today. Obviously she knows what happened to Holtzmann and we need to know too." Patty marched up to Jen confrontationally.   
"Jen, you said, right?" Jen nodded.   
"How do you know Holtz?"   
"W-who?"   
"Holtzmann."   
"I don't know a Holtzmann." Patty was confused. "Alright then, then may I ask why the fuck you are in her hospital room with her people that are practically family to her?"  
"That's Jill McKinnon."   
"Jill McWho?" Patty raised her eyebrows.   
"'No, baby, that is Jillian Holtzmann."  
"Oh." Jen looked down embarrassed. "Well I didn't know her real last name but she means a lot to me. She's kept me going a lot of nights." Patty covered her ears.   
"Listen, baby, I really don't need to hear that."  
Jen gave her a look of shock, as if to say "what the fuck are you implying?", but she kept her mouth shut.   
"Anyways, how do you know her?"  
"I told you we work at the club together."  
"Doing what? What is it exactly you do?"  
"Well I'm a dancer, but soon I'll be moving to Vegas to do escort work. I was about to ask Jill if she wanted to join me since you basically get paid to have sex with guys." Patty's eyes widened and a loud "NO!" involuntarily came bursting out of her mouth. "She doesn't even like guys!" "Oh, yes she does..." Jen said tauntingly. Patty crouched and look Jen directly in the eyes. "You tell me right now what it is Holtz does at that club. I need to hear it from your mouth. Because apparently the Jill you know is not the Jill that I know." "She dances too," Jen said shrugging. "She dances." "She dances, as in naked? Like strips?" Jen nodded. "Yes." Patty slammed her hand against the wall of her hospital in anger. "Damnit!" Jen flinched. "Why is she here, Jen? What happened to her?" "Some guy got rough with her and fingered her during a lap dance. She came up to me crying before she left and I gave her a hug. I instantly knew what happened cause Jill never cries over being shorted money. I heard by other workers that she was hurt by a group of guys that were kicked out of the club that night- I presume the ones who touched her. Everyone talks there, you know. Heard she was gang raped." Jen's voice broke on the last line in sadness. Patty put her head down for a moment and tears spilled out. "I need a moment, please."

Patty walked on over to a concerned Erin and Abby. "Ladies I don't know how much more shocked I can get or how much more bad news I can receive in one night." Erin and Abby shouted in unison "What is going on?!" Patty told them everything and Erin and Abby just looked at her in disbelief with tears spilling over their cheeks. Not a word more was spoken about it that day, Jen, Erin, Abby and Patty went into the hospital room to kiss Holtzmann on the forehead and say their goodbyes. "We will talk later, Holtzy. Just hang in there. We need you and we love you." Abby whispered.


	6. Mandatory Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby, Patty and Erin finally talk with Holtzmann.

Several weeks later, Holtzmann was healed up and physically back to her old self, but internally she was struggling with what had happened to her. The feeling of worthlessness was unbearable most days. However, she was ready to go back to work at the firehouse and get lost in her inventions. The team was happy she was coming back. They had investigations backed up and hazardous equipment that wasn't completed strewn all over the firehouse. Without her, they didn't feel whole. They all felt betrayed by Holtzmann for not telling them about what her night job was and being lied to constantly, but they were thankful she was okay and loved her just as much, if not more for it. They hung up banners around the firehouse and even got a cake that said "Welcome Back Holtzmann!" When Holtzmann walked into the firehouse her eyes lit up in surprise, but there was still a sadness in them that couldn't be shaken. All the Ghostbusters lined up to hug her. "So happy you're back with us, baby!" Patty exclaimed. "Me too. With you all," Holtzmann stammered. She struggled to make eye contact. Abby put her arm around Holtzmann's shoulder. Holtzmann stiffened, she was crying. "Thanks guys, but, um, please. Mandatory meeting please." Abby looked relieved she was finally ready to talk. All four ladies gathered at a table. Abby sat with her arm around her friend. "I'm sorry for, uh, letting you down. I can imagine...how...you must look at me. Think of me, uh, I made bad choices. Patty and Erin put their hands over Holtzmann's hand. Abby squeezed her shoulders tighter. Abby started gently "We are all so sorry what happened to you, Holtz, and I certainly don't mean to make you feel worse. I just want to know why?" "Why what?" "Why stripping? I know you said you were low on funds, but we would've helped you. It's so dangerous out there and exploitative." Holtzmann looked down and nodded. More tears spilling over her cheeks. "My mom. She was in the business for, uh, a long time. Years. I wanted to be different than her, that's why I went to school. Got my Doctorate. But you know, I fell through the cracks when times got hard. Had a bad upbringing. Stepdad beat me horribly. I just wanted to be around women to comfort me even if that, uh, meant putting on a show for men. I only have ever trusted women." Patty's voice broke "we got you, baby." She smiled through a tear stained face at Holtzmann. "It's okay, Holtz" Abby assured her. Erin just gave her a warm, shy smile and patted her hand. "So that's why you missed so much work. You must've been exhausted between doing that and having to be at the firehouse for 8 am." Abby said gently, while Holtz nodded with reddened cheeks. Patty making light of the situation, Patty bursted into a laugh. "I always thought you were good at working that fire pole when you slid down it." The rest of the ladies laughed a bit. A little smirk came over Holtzmann's lips. "Thank you guys so much, for still loving me, and I just want you to know, that I- I love you all too." "Baby, please tell me that you are gonna quit that place. Please don't go back there. Please baby. If you need anymore money, we will help you. I promise." Holtz looked at Patty sternly. "I'm not going back. I can't." She broke down into tears and was consoled by her friends. "Listen baby, we're gonna make a phone call to some assholes." Holtzmann's eyes ignited with fear. "No, please. I-" "Baby, not those assholes. Was talking about the club." Holtz relaxed. Patty dialed the number to the club. "Listen up bitches, my girl Jill ain't coming back in and if you got any beef with that, you'll have to fight all of us AND our proton guns. You mistreat my girl ever again, and I swear to God I'll light all y'alls asses on fire!" Holtz smirked and leaned into the receiver of the phone "...I quit. Permenantly. So, uh, boo ya! Emphasis on the boo!" Patty hung up the phone and all the ladies high fived each other. "We are so proud of you Holtzmann. Now get ya ass over here and finish these proton shotguns. We may need them" Patty said with a wink. 


	7. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann has to make some tough decisions and has a reunion of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holtz meets someone and is faced with some tough choices.

"What you goin' to pick up?" Patty asked as Holtzmann put her boots on. "Just some stuff for sandwhichs. I'm starving. You want anything?" "Yeah baby, grab me some cola if you don't mind." Patty threw a $5 in Holtzmann's direction. "You sure you don't want company?" Patty asked with a smile. "It's alright, Patty." Holtz picked up the money, smirked and headed off on her walk to the store. 

Since the incident Holtzmann had been more careful about her walk to and from places. Erin gave Holtz her Swiss Army knife back and she began to carry it with her everywhere. She only walked in populated areas and only during daytime hours.

She finally made it to the store and was looking at sandwhich fixings when a gorgeous girl about 24 years old backed into her. "Oh hey, sorry" the girl said, smiling as her cheeks reddened. "No harm, no foul" Holtzmann quipped back, smiling. "So, uh, I don't mean to be forward..." the girl started, "but you're kinda cute." Her face then became filled with regret. "Actually you know what, I'm really sorry, You're probably not even gay..." Holtzmann smiled "Oh yeah? You think so? Well thanks. You're not too bad yourself." The girl blushed redder. "You know what? I'm not really used to doing this sort of thing, but maybe later would you like to grab a drink? Like maybe 8 tonight? Just to talk, of course. No agenda. I'm sorry if this is really awkward for you...I just..." Holtzmann smirked a fake smile. She wanted to go out, she really did, but she wasn't comfortable with going out so late and being alone. "I'd love to, but I don't usually go out at night anymore. Personal reasons." The girl's face fell into a deep sadness. "Oh gotcha. Hint taken." She began to walk away from Holtzmann ashamed, when Holtz put her hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "Hey now. I didn't say no. I just said I don't go out at night." The girl's eyes lit up. "Why don't you meet me at the firehouse for 8? We can have drinks there. That's where I work." The girl looked at Holtzmann curiously. "But won't your boss be..." Holtzmann laughed. She knew where this question was headed. "My boss is my best friend and we pay the rent together for that place. It's not gonna be an issue at all." The girl beamed at Holtzmann. "Wait a minute, you're one of the Ghostbusters aren't you?! I saw you on the news awhile back! That's so cool! Jillian Holtzmann, right? My name is Amber, by the way." Holtzmann nodded in amusement at the girl's enthusiasm. "Awesome!! I'm super pumped now! See you at 8!" "Looking forward to it, Amber!" Holtzmann shook her head to herself as Amber headed off. She knew Amber was young compared to her, but it had been ages since she had made love with another woman. It had been ages since her last real kiss. She closed herself off for so long after her incident and mostly hid away from everyone and everything. She wanted human affection so badly. Besides, Amber wasn't pressuring anything physical, she said herself that she just wanted to talk. Holtzmann was so excited about the date, Patty's drink and bread for sandwhiches was totally forgotten.

"What the hell, baby? I asked for a single cola" Patty said disappointed as Holtzmann stuffed her $5 into her palm. "Sorry Patty..." Holtzmann said as she descended the stairs, not saying a word more. Patty stared at her and shook her head. "That crazy woman..."

Erin, Patty and Abby were all discussing their latest bust when Holtzmann strolled by with Amber, who was holding a bottle of vodka. "What the hell?" Erin said out of the corner of her mouth, glancing at both Abby and Patty.

"Vodka, eh?" Holtzmann studied the bottle thoroughly. "Yep. I was gonna go with some wine or champagne, but I figured that was a bit overrated. Plus I'm nervous." Holtzmann giggled a bit. "Don't be. It's been awhile for me too." Hearing how that must've sounded she corrected herself, "since I was on a date." "Really?" "Yeah, and we can just talk. Like you said." Amber visibly became more relaxed. "So you prefer shots or cocktails?" Holtzmann said, holding up a green concoction she made in the lab to pair with various alcohols. Amber laughed. "That looks radioactive. I'll just take a shot, thanks." 

Holtzmann and Amber talked for hours, while Patty, Erin and Abby stared in disbelief and gossiped nonstop. Holtzmann was nearly crying in tears of laughter while Amber made funny faces and funny voices. "She's a damn kid. Look at her!" Patty observed. "Wonder how old she is..." Erin inquired. "Only God knows..." Abby said, shaking her head.

Abby came to the table. "Hey there, I'm Abby. Amber right?" Amber looked at Abby questioningly. "A shame Holtzmann didn't introduce us. I'm her friend and boss." Holtzmann's cheeks reddened as she looked down. "Sorry. Yes Amber, this is Abby. Erin and Patty are here too. They're my good friends and co workers." "Shame you didn't introduce us, Holtz" Abby dug in once more. "Sorry. My bad. Well, I figured you all were busy and also, I'm kind of on a date." Abby's eyes widened. Amber squirmed in her seat, visibly uncomfortable at the exchanging of words. "Amber, hun, why don't you stay here for just a minute. Gotta borrow your girl." Abby held her hand out to Holtz "Come with me. Just for a minute." Drunk and compliant, Holtz stood up by taking Abby's hand and followed her into the other room with a window." "What the hell are you doing Holtz? Look at her! She's a baby compared to you!" Holtzmann glanced at Amber through the window, a smile spread across her face. She turned back to Abby and with a visibly upset face she said "how could you?!" Abby stepped back in disbelief. "How could I, what?! Holtzmann stop it! After all that has happened, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Bringing strange girls here, young ones nonetheless. Girls who are practically children compared to us!" Holtzmann's anger was still coursing through her. "I'm trying to live again! I'm trying to take back my life, or rather just have a normal life! I never had that! She was nice to me. I just...wanted to know her. I don't understand why you have to concern yourself in my damn business! Who I talk to, who I fuck, what I do for a living. Just fuck off, Abby!" Abby looked at Holtzmann in shock. She raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me! How dare you Holtzmann! You would die without us. You don't know what's good for you! You put yourself in some pretty shitty situations. You chose to strip instead of ask us for help. You go through girls like fucking underwear and you finally got what you had coming after all those years of being goddamn reckless! You got raped!" Holtzmann fell against the wall in tears. Abby instantly regretted her words. Softening her eyes, she squatted down and held Holtzmann's hand. "I didn't mean that. Please, Holtzmann. Know I didn't mean that." Holtzmann burst out of the room away from Abby, tears and redness marking her face. "You okay?" Amber asked. "Should I go...or?" "No, don't..." Holtzmann sat next to Amber. "Let's get out of here. What do you say?" "But I thought you said..." "I just want to get out of here, Amber. Please? Walk with me?" Amber wiped a tear from Holtzmann's cheek. "Ok."

The two strolled out of the firehouse and down the street into a back alley. Holtzmann's flashbacks would've run rampant on her if not for the booze that was making its way through her body. "It's been so long" Holtzmann said. Amber looked at her in discomfort but stroked her hair nonetheless. "So long since what?" "Since anyone's touched me, since I touched anyone." Amber ran a finger down her thigh, her newfound confidence soaring. "Oh yeah? And whys that?" "Because I've shut myself down emotionally. Physically. Because I'm fucked up." "Nonsense." Amber felt the Swiss Army knife in Holtz's pocket and pulled it out. "I can promise that you won't be needing this right now." She tossed it aside on the ground and slipped her hand into Holtzmann's pants, stroking her fingers over the engineer's soaked womanhood. Holtzmann's head fell back and she moaned at the sensation, briefly pulling back and in a sobered tone stating "I thought you were nervous..." "Shh, now. I am. But someone's gotta take care of you. Please let it be me." Amber dropped to her knees, pulling Holtzmann's pants down to her knees while she sucked her clit and licked away at the wetness. Every now and then she would pump her fingers in and out of Holtzmann." She brought Holtzmann to the point of no return and Holtzmann stood quivering and shaking with release in the alleyway. "How old are you?" Holtzmann inquired, visibly holding her breath. "24. You?" Holtzmann shot her a look of embarrassment. "I'm 33..." Amber's jaw dropped open and her eyes widened. She then burst out into laughter. "Relax, it's just a number." Holtzmann smiled in a drunken and sleepy state. "True." Holtz began to get fidgety, playing with her hands as Amber stood staring at her. "So, uh, what now?" "I think you're beautiful like that." Holtzmann looked down at her unbuttoned pants and shirt that was pulled up over her thin waist. "Oh" she said, blushing as she put herself back together. "I think I know what would get your mind off of everything for a bit." Amber said boldly. Holtzmann didn't say anything and just looked ahead of her. "There's a place just down the way. It would be a perfect escape for you. You are beautiful, you know that? You are different than most girls and that's what makes you stand out. There's a place I know that would appreciate someone like you." Holtzmann beamed at the compliments. Her heart swelled and she felt so lucky to have met Amber. "Why thank you." Holtz said, not making eye contact. When people told Holtz she was beautiful, she never knew how to take the compliment. It made her feel shy and unworthy. Amber pulled a sash out of her pocket. "Now for the surprise." She blindfolded Holtz. "Come on, follow me. I promise this will be good for you." Holtz giggled as they made their way down the street. She reached out to tickle Amber a few times. She hadn't had this much fun in years. 

Although she couldn't see, Holtzmann could hear loud music playing and she could smell perfume. "We're here!" Amber untied Holtzmann's blindfold and smiled at her. Holtz looked up at a dimly lit bar with a purple light inside. Music was bursting out at every opening. "What's this place?" She said in excitement. Amber laughed. "Go in and check it out!" Holtzmann walked in with Amber trailing behind her. "Wow, Amber it's perf..." Holtzmann nearly finished her sentence when an older man walked up to her. The owner from the old club. Holtzmann turned to bolt, but Amber blocked her path. The man grabbed her wrist. "McKinnon, you don't fucking miss work when you were specifically told to be there." Holtzmann began to cry. "You lost me a lot of money, you stupid bitch. Do you know that? People would come from all over the city to see you. You know why? Cause you're a weirdo. You're unconventional. People love that. People PAY for that. You're too goddamn stupid to know that, though." "I told you, I quit." "No, you don't. You don't quit. You do what I fucking say. Do you understand that?" Holtzmann looked at Amber in a plea for help, but Amber just smiled at her. "Grandpa. I was going to tell you that she hurt me on the way here." Holtzmann looked at her in shock, her heart in her throat. "No, no I didn't! I promise I didn't!" The old man grabbed Holtzmann and threw her against the wall, leaving a giant bruise on her ribs. He then threw a pair of fishnets with a cut out crotch and a lime green bikini at her. "Get fucking dressed, or else I'll kill you." Trembling, Holtzmann changed into the clothing. Tears streamed down her face as Amber smiled at her. The owner grabbed Holtzmann's complex updo and yanked the pins and hair tie out. Her long blonde hair cascaded around her shoulders. "Go to the stage..." Once again, Holtzmann attempted to run but the older man pulled out a gun. "If you run, I can promise you will never be a functioning human being again." Holtzmann contemplated getting shot. It would be better than living this life, doing this job, but she thought of her friends. Despite the painful words Abby said to her, she knew it came from a place of deep concern and love. Abby mothered Holtz as no one had done before and Patty and Erin took pretty good care of her too. They were Holtz's family. She didn't want to die and never see them again, or have them responsible for taking care of her as a vegetable. She had to live for them, she just needed to notify them of what was going on. But how? Holtz wiped her tears and put on a brave face. "I'm ready to do this, sir." "Then fucking get out there, bitch!" The man shoved her towards the stage. As Holtz walked out she clung to the pole infront of her. It was a new place but she knew the routine. As long as she could mentally escape her reality until the song was over, she would be okay. She just needed to let someone know where she was. She needed her friends to come armed. She just needed...someone.


	8. Please Help Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtz attempts to get help in regards to her dangerous situation.

Holtz felt deep shame after she tossed each article of clothing she had onto the ground. Through a broken smile the tears fell, but the men continued to shower her naked body in money. When she was done with her dance, she went to collect the money and Amber stood at her side, batting her hand away. "My grandfather is behind you with a loaded gun. I suggest you let me handle this part." Holtz trembled as she dropped the five dollar bill she was holding in her hands and Amber scooped it up instead. As Amber gathered the cash, Holtz turned slightly to her, whispering, "Why did you do that to me? In the alleyway? Why did you show tenderness to me?" "It worked, didn't it?" Amber smirked at Holtz. "Listen, if I didn't make you come undone, I wouldn't have been able to gain your trust like I did. As long as we have each other, we are in good company." "How so?" Holtz asked confused. "As long as you're here I am getting good money so that I can finish school and you can rest easy at night knowing that you are helping me." "What?" "You heard me. You're my source of tuition. Doesn't it feel good to help someone? Especially someone who is going to school to better themselves?" Holtz was about to scream "NO!", when she remembered that a gun was aimed right at her. She nervously glanced over at Amber, nodding yes. "Sixty fucking dollars. Not bad for a dancing weirdo, but this just won't cut it. Go do some lap dances. When you're done, you are to hand every last cent over to me. Understand? I will count it and if there's any money missing, my grandfather is going to shoot you." "Okay," Holtzmann said in agreement. She walked around the bar, trembling, looking for interested men. Some said they did want one before they left for the evening, but they wanted to watch the next few acts. One guy was with his wife, they appeared to be swingers. Holtzmann touched her hand and whispered. "Mind if we chat? Just for a sec? Woman to woman? I have a female related question. Bring your purse if you can." The woman gave Holtzmann a dirty look like she was less than human and got up and followed her into one of the lap dance rooms. To everyone else, it looked like she had just purchased a service. "What is it?" The woman asked flatly, raking her eyes over Holtzmann's barely covered body. Holtzmann tensed up. "Do you have a tampon? I think I started." The woman looked at Holtzmann once again, in disgust. "You're a grown woman, shouldn't you know if you're about to start?" Holtzmann fell at her legs, sobbing. "No, no it's not that. Please I just need help. I didn't start. I just..." Holtzmann's words came to an abrupt stop as the owner marched in the room. "She giving you trouble ma'am?? I can hear her wailing all the way out here." He shot Holtzmann a look of hatred. The lady caught on to what was happening when she spotted a pistol at his side. Holtzmann waited to be ratted out and murdered but the lady knew better. "No trouble here, sir. Thank you. I have a bit of a fetish I'm living out with Miss McKinnon here. I told her if she cried and acted hopeless for me, I'd pay her a thousand dollars. Lots of money to be made with lesbian dom/sub fetishes, you know." The lady winked at Holtzmann. The owner's eyes lit up. "Excellent! Well then, have at it and enjoy! She'll be here all week!" The lady smiled. "Thank you again, sir. Now if you can leave us to it..." "Most certainly...sorry for interrupting." The owner backed out slowly. The woman sat down and pulled Holtzmann to her knees, whispering with concern. "Tell me what it is that you need." "My real name is Jillian Holtzmann. I'm a Ghostbuster. I'm their engineer. You've heard of us right?" The woman looked down at Holtzmann confused. "Yes, and what does that have to do with this?" "Its a long story, ok? But I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be doing this. I've had a gun pointed at me since I've been here. Please, if you just have a cell phone...?" The woman stroked Holtzmann's hair, feeling guilt for giving her dirty looks at the start. "Okay. I know what to do, but you have to play along or else you are gonna die, do you understand?" Holtzmann nodded in desperation. "This will kind of hurt you, but I promise you it will be worth it." The woman took a nail clipper out of her bag and jabbed Holtzmann with it, cutting her. She began to wail very loudly once again. The owner could be heard laughing outside of the room, telling someone that "tears made good money". The woman dialed 911.


	9. She Really Does Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann is in desperate need of help after being forced into doing things against her will at gunpoint. Will the cops come to save the day or will she die first?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! A lot has been going on in my personal life. Hope you enjoy the last chapter!

Holtzmann limped out of the private room. Blood stains were smeared on her barely there outfit and through the ends of her light blonde hair. The owner laughed when he saw her. "She sure had fun with you, didn't she?" Holtzmann glanced at him, her eyes glossy with tears that were about to fall. Holtzmann nodded. "Good. I think from here on out we'll use you as our fetish girl." Holtzmann gulped in fear. She began to feel dizzy from dehydration and the throbbing pain from where she was stabbed by the clippers. The lady that stabbed her wandered out of the room. She forcefully grabbed a fistful of Holtz's hair and with a cool tone to her voice stated, "I'll pay you $200 more if you walk on your tipetoes with me outside for a moment." The owner delighted in this ridiculous scene of submission and beamed with joy at the offer for extra money. Holtz did as she was told. Her ankles wanted to give out but she kept going. When both women were outside, the woman let go of Holtzmann's hair and spun her around to face her. 

"I called the police. They said they'd hurry as fast as they could but there are some things that take priority over this situation." Holtzmann's tears fell silently. "I can only act as a distraction for so long until that man catches onto the fact that I'm helping you. I don't want to be killed anymore than you do." "Why did you stab me?" Holtzmann hiccuped out between the tears. "I needed proof of my dominance over you. It's nothing personal. If that man sees that I am dominating you, he will let me stay with you. My time with you makes him more money. He doesn't know that I know what is going on here, but it's not hard to figure out. He doesn't care about you, he is using you and I'm sure even you know that by now." Holtzmann nodded. It did make sense to her, but she wished she wasn't in this predicament in the first place. She wished she would've listened to Abby's scolding. 

"Now come here, sit by me on the bench for a moment. I want you to tell me how this all happened." Holtzmann sat down, feeling relief from the uncomfortable heels she was forced into wearing. She began to explain everything when Amber wandered out the doors to the club. Seeing Holtzmann sitting, she became enraged. "You dumb slut! Get back in there! What the fuck do you think you are doing? This isn't a tea party. I swear to God my grandfather will kill you..." The woman turned to Amber with an empty, robotic like expression. "Not if I kill her first." Amber's eyes lit up. "How do you mean?" Holtzmann's eyes looked panic stricken as they darted between the two women. The lady gently put her hands around Holtzmann's neck. "I'll snap her neck if she does anything out of line. I'm paying for her time. She knows not to misbehave around me or I'll kill her before I report her misbehavior to your grandfather." Amber looked delighted at the answer. "Good." She stated, as she skipped back inside the club. Holtzmann began to sob and the woman rubbed her back gently. "Hang in there. I'm not planning to hurt you anymore. I'm just playing their game to keep you safe until help arrives." 

All of a sudden, a deafening sound was heard inside of the nightclub and people came screaming and running out in a panic. "It's chipping time now, assholes!" Patty's voice could be heard over the loud dance music. Holtzmann bolted upright. "Patty?! Patty, is that you?" The woman tried to encourage Holtz to sit back down and wait but Holtz was hysterical calling out for Patty. "Take me to my friend, Holtzmann, and no one gets hurt!" Abby was heard shouting inside the club. Holtzmann ran inside. As soon as she did, she spotted Abby and their eyes locked. Abby looked at Holtz and tears began to fall from her eyes. "Oh my God, Holtzmann. Oh my God, what have they done to you?" Before Holtz could answer, the owner grabbed his gun and aimed it right at Abby's head. "She's mine now." He snarled. In the midst of the tense moment, Erin shouted "In your dreams, you bastard!" and fired her proton shotgun right at the owner. He fell over in screaming agony. Amber, in a state of hysteria, dropped to the ground next to her grandfather and began screaming obscenities at the Ghostbusters. "Fucking bitches! You fucking killed him! I'm gonna fucking finish you!" Patty walked up beside Amber and looking down at her asked "What the hell did you just say to us, baby?" "You heard me you stupid bitch. I'm gonna kill every last one of you! Stupid fucks!" Abby smiled smugly at her. "Not today you won't, bitch. Not ever." Abby aimed her proton shotgun right at Amber's forehead. "You want to die a sick, nuclear death just like him?" She asked motioning with her hand to Amber's late grandfather that lay smoking on the floor. Amber went to stand up and Abby pulled the trigger. "Guess she didn't get the hint." When everyone had cleared out and the two dead bodies were the only ones, other than the Ghostbusters that remained inside the club, each Ghostbuster took turns hugging Holtzmann. "I'm so sorry, baby!" Patty squeezed a shivering Holtzmann tight. "We love you." Abby stated warmly. Erin gently smiled and put her hand on Holtzmann's face. "I know you love me. I love you guys too." Holtzmann looked up questioningly. "How did you find me?" Patty smirked. "Baby you know we got a police scanner back when the government bought us the firehouse. We needed to be kept updated about emergencies in the area. Lucky for you, we heard the 911 call some lady made on your behalf." "Are the police still going to come?" "Nah, no need baby. We said we'd take care of it and we sho' have!" Holtzmann's eyes drifted to the smoking, charred bodies are the ground below her. "Thanks again. So much. For helping me." She stammered out. Abby pulled Holtz in for a hug. "Holtzy without you, we are nothing. Now, come on girlfriend. Let's get home and get you cleaned up and warmed up. You've had a rough night." 

As the Ghostbusters stepped out of the club, the lady who helped Holtz was still sitting on the bench outside. "Glad to see you reunited with your friends, honey. I am sorry for everything you have endured. I feel personally responsible." Holtzmann walked over and sat down by the woman, putting an arm around her. "No. Don't feel that way. You saved my life. Thank you so much for doing that for me." The woman broke down in tears. "I know I hurt you but..." "You only did it to help me. They were going to kill me. You only made them believe you were one of them. There is nothing to be sad about." "Jillian...I..." the woman stammered. She took Holtz's hand in her own. "I've been in the same position before so I know how scared you felt." Holtz looked alarmed. "You were in the same position?" The woman nodded as tears spilled over her cheeks. "Oh my God, I had no idea, I'm so sorry." "I've lived a pretty reckless life, Jillian. Even sometimes now I still do. I've spent my whole life surrounded by people who take and never give. I've been judgemental and harsh on people who have not deserved it and I feel so much remorse for it." Holtzmann cocked her head curiously at the woman. Patty touched the woman's shoulder. "It's okay, baby. We all have been that way." The woman stood up, eye to eye with Holtzmann. "Jillian, I am so sorry." Holtzmann studied the woman's face for a moment. Her sunken, crying eyes and wrinkle lined lips. Her equally small frail body and her sunken cheekbones. A moment of realization hit Holtzmann, but she didn't say anything, she just nodded in understanding. "Well we should get going now." Abby said, cutting through the tense silence. "Yeah, let's go get you cleaned up, Holtz", Erin chimed in. "Thank you again for helping our girl Miss" Patty said warmly as the Ghostbusters put their arms around Holtzmann and headed off into the distance. The lady stood watching them as they left, her eyes swollen with tears. "Mama really does love you, Jilly. She really, really does."


End file.
